A lot of people in my offline-life often tell me that they don't know how I manage to read so much. That they don't have time to read, or they can just never get into books, or struggle to find the motivation to finish them once they do start reading. My answer to the first is normally along the lines of - then make time. Instead of sitting down and watching TV in the evenings I will nearly always stick my nose in a book; and on the days when I do watch something I normally always spend at least half an hour reading in bed before going to sleep.
And I do read quickly. I can finish most books in a few hours so finishing them in a day is really dependant on how early in the day I start reading rather than anything to do with the book. But, saying that, there are definitely some books which I started late and finished the same day because they were either shorter or just grabbed my attention from the very first page and for today's post I thought I'd share the queer ones with you!
100+ queer books that fit at least one prompt for reading it queer. if they fit more than one then I've included it in every applicable prompt section (to my knowledge - I've doubled checked everything but if i've missed any then please do let me know).
hello hello and welcome to my new blog series: sapphic shelves! if you've been around my blog for any length of time (or follow me elsewhere online) then it will be no surprise to you that i'm a Big fan of sapphic literature.
it's my favourite pairing to read and a good 70% of my TBR is just gay girls falling for each other in a hundred different ways. i do spend some of my time shouting about queer lit (most often on my bookstagram) but i've decided to shout about it a little more because why not!
it's my favourite pairing to read and a good 70% of my TBR is just gay girls falling for each other in a hundred different ways. i do spend some of my time shouting about queer lit (most often on my bookstagram) but i've decided to shout about it a little more because why not!
I remember searching desperately for characters who looked like me (or rather, looked like the thing that I might be but was too scared to admit yet, even to myself.) I stared at every blurb I found, scanning the shelves at the school library, the public library and the ones in the bookshops in the hope that suddenly there would be a bright beam of rainbow light and any potential queer book there would launch itself into my arms. Unsurprisingly, that didn't happen.
Hello and welcome to my reading it queer rec list!! If you have no idea what I'm talking about you can check out my explanation post here and then come back to check out the book recs!
Queens of Geek is one of my favourite contemporary reads so when I discovered that not only was Jen Wilde writing a new book but that said new book was going to focus on the relationship between two women I may have shrieked a little bit. I shrieked even more when the possibility of being part of the blog tour for Going Off Script came about so you can imagine the noise when I received an email to let me know I was on it!! A huge thankyou to SwoonReads and Xpresso Book Tours for allowing me to devour this book before it hit mainstream shelves (and on that note - it's now sitting pretty on those shelves from today!! It's queer, hilarious and adorable and I 100% recommend everyone to go and buy a copy. If you need a tiny bit more encouragement then hopefully my full review can help!)
Small Town Hearts by Lillie Vale is a book that's been on my radar for a few months and is actually one of my most anticipated queer releases of 2019. Set in Oar's Rest in Maine over the summer it sounded like a complete dream of a book so when Lili from Utopia State of Mind contacted me to see if I wanted to be involved in the blog tour for it I replied with a giant YES. Well, technically I shrieked at the email, danced around my room for a couple minutes and then said yes, but the point of the story is the same and it resulted in a shiny attachment landing in my inbox; cue more happy dancing!
Before I jump into the review I want to give you all a little warning because I went into this book very unprepared. The food in Small Town Hearts is unbelievably wonderful. Lillie's descriptions are gorgeous and I was hungry for the entire time reading this, so when you pick it up please make sure you have some form of snack (ideally something baked but anything will do), because the alternative is having to put the book down to go all the way to the shop just to buy something. And you won't want to put this book down.
Before I jump into the review I want to give you all a little warning because I went into this book very unprepared. The food in Small Town Hearts is unbelievably wonderful. Lillie's descriptions are gorgeous and I was hungry for the entire time reading this, so when you pick it up please make sure you have some form of snack (ideally something baked but anything will do), because the alternative is having to put the book down to go all the way to the shop just to buy something. And you won't want to put this book down.
University is kind of a terrifying experience. Moving away from home, living in a new place, meeting new people and studying on a whole new academic level is an awful lot to deal with in one go. If you've been around on my blog for a little while it might not be a surprise to you that I found my undergraduate a totally overwhelming experience. I struggled and stressed and worried for three years straight - I had a panic attack that included the really ugly, messy kind of crying on my third day there (in front of two office staff and a lecturer - great first impression I made!) and that just set the tone really. London, despite being a city I'd had my heart set on for a decade, was a very harsh place for me. It was always slightly too much: too busy, too loud, too fast paced and I constantly felt like I was on the outside looking in, not really a part of the bustling city life but also not really wanting to be.
That being said I don't regret going to London, or staying there. I can't regret the decision that resulted in the most wonderful bunch of weirdo's - girls I'm privileged to know let alone count as friends. I can't wish I'd picked a different path when it brought me back to writing, when it has led me to studying my passion in a city I'm falling more in love with every day.
I second guessed every moment I spent in London, never feeling capable and always feeling more like I was just surviving than actually living. In Edinburgh it's already a completely different story - I know it's still very early days but I'm actually living in this city as opposed to surviving each day and disliking most of them. Every part of it has completely captured my heart and I haven't found anywhere I don't like yet. Edinburgh even looks magical when it's miserable and gloomy! Putting aside how pretty everywhere is for a minute I do feel like there are tangible reasons for this feeling and have summed up my top four.
Your teenage years are a weird time of life.
Add in realising halfway through Year Nine that girls are so much nicer than boys in every single way - and then promptly pushing that thought to the very back of your mind to deal with later on (anyone else procrastinate dealing with their sexuality or was that just me) my teenage years were a very weird, confusing time for me. I had no idea why I felt like I had to actively pick a boy to crush on when it seemed that most people around me seemed to just fall into liking someone.
Hello and happy Sunday evening everyone!
I've spent the past few days being a busy little bee and planned out all my posts for the rest of January but somehow (despite knowing exactly what I would put) forgot to write up today's post - this weeks happy thing! I discovered this when I went to click publish this morning and found nothing to click on..whoops! But I'm now fresh out of the shower and ready to write..
Literally ready to write.
A few of you may have seen this on twitter / instagram (and thankyou all so much for the amazing replies I've received) but in case you missed the news this weeks Happy Thing is that on Friday I got told I have a place on a Creative Writing MA in September!!!!
I've spent the past few days being a busy little bee and planned out all my posts for the rest of January but somehow (despite knowing exactly what I would put) forgot to write up today's post - this weeks happy thing! I discovered this when I went to click publish this morning and found nothing to click on..whoops! But I'm now fresh out of the shower and ready to write..
Literally ready to write.
Hello Hello and Happy New Year!
If you follow me on anything you might already know this but (drum roll please) I have decided to set myself the challenge of only reading books with a LGBTQ+ element during 2018!
This element could be a queer character, relationship, theme or total point of the plot. Whether its a comic book, series, memoir, YA or adult; any genre and any style if it has a queer element to it then I'm going to try and read it this year. The only rule I'm setting is that the element has to be explicitly stated within the book itself; no subtext or vague author comments are going to count this year so I'm saying farewell to my Harry Potter re-read as well as a vast majority of my old favourites.
Today - 3rd October - is the one year anniversary of getting my tattoo. It's been one year since I stopped "thinking about" something I knew I wanted and just went for it. One year since I decided to stop worrying about getting something seemingly cliche, stop worrying about what other people might think and just seized the flipping day and got it.
Today marks the anniversary of a day when I didn't let myself talk me out of doing something, a day when I just went for it. It was a small thing but a giant thing at the same time and I have never once regretted it.
Way back when I was a little first year I ventured off out into London to see the Christmas lights being turned on and ended up taking a photo outside Claridges; and after telling my mum about it we decided that at some point we would find an occasion and have afternoon tea there. Three years later we finally sat down for afternoon tea and wow. It was so worth the wait.
As well afternoon tea being something we've wanted to do for ages it fell at the perfect time. My mum turned 50 in March, I was 21 in February, my brother has just finished his first year of university and I've just finished university altogether so it was a celebration of several milestones!
St Dunstan-in-the-East is both a testament to the willpower of people and a clear demonstration of nature persevering and prevailing. Originally built in 1100 the church has been built, repaired, destroyed, patched up and rebuilt, changing from a place of private worship into a place of public peace. Since the 1970's it has been an open public garden and after reading about it and seeing other peoples photos I knew I had to go myself.
If you read my post about being an invisible femme the other week you might be looking at the title of this thinking "hang on a second.." but don't click off just yet- I haven't done a complete u-turn on everything I wrote, nor have I made huge errors in the title of this post! You see, I view being a femme lesbian as a coin: with visibility and invisibility being the two sides, you can't have one without the other and both are just as valid and important to discuss and talk about. As much as I consider myself to be an invsible femme; I also view myself as a visible one too.
I am a visible femme because I'm out, proud and feminine with no wish to hide any part of me.
I am a visible femme by choice and not just because I might not be seen otherwise.
I am a visible femme because I've been told "well I guessed", "you're not subtle when you see a pretty girl" and "I did wonder" all on separate occasions after coming out to people. I am a visible femme because I'm too passionate about LGBTQ+ rights (and pretty girls apparently..) to simply pass under radars as just an ally.
We march because in 1969 Sylvia Rivera threw the first brick and yet fifty years later bathrooms are still being patrolled and controlled,
because you treat my fellow sisters like we're both your worst nightmare and your greatest fantasy rolled into one even though we are not here for your pleasure,
and because America's worst mass shooting in history took place in our month against our people and they ask why marriage isn't enough?
The invisible femme: a feminine looking lesbian who struggles to convince or show that she is gay.
The invisible femme: a lesbian who recieves yet another label because she doesn't conform to society's stereotypical definition of what a lesbian looks like. You know; short hair, short nails and a wardrobe full of checked shirts and and heavy-duty "man boots."
The invisible femme: the girl writing this blog post.
"You're too pretty to be gay" or "I never would have guessed" are both comments I've recieved a few more times than I'd prefer and I'm still baffled as to how the first one is supposed to be complimentary in the slightest. As for the second one I always feel a surge of annoyance which is quickly followed by frustration because I know that the stereotypes I mentioned before are to blame for people not guessing. My long hair and painted nails are as much a part of me as my blue eyes and my sexuality are and yet the first two somehow erase or coverup the fourth despite the fact that it's the latter two which aren't changeable?
As an invisible femme I am both privileged and disadvantaged. I "pass" as a straight woman so therefore do not recieve even half as much abuse and homophobia as my sisters who fit the stereotype, but on the other hand the number of homophobic comments that have been made in my hearing about those sisters because I am not counted as one of them is heartbreakingly high. I don't fit the stereotype so therefore I'm clearly a straight women who would find a "haha gayyyyyyyyy" comment amusing.. By not fitting the stereotype I pass under the radar, I avoid the weird looks and whispered comments that so many people I know have had to deal with but at the same time I often wonder if I also pass under the radar of people I belong with.
Stereotypes are so prevalent both outside and inside my community that often I am an invisible femme not only to boys in the club but also to members of my own group. How many potential flirtations or coffee dates have I missed out on because I chose to wear a dress that day. When I went to a queer craft fayre did I look like an outsider to my own people? Is my love of checked shirts just seen as a quirky "me thing" or as the tongue-in-cheek acceptance and love of one of the many stereotypes held under the umbrella of lesbian it actually is?
When I was very little I wanted to be a singer, my sole ambition in life was to be a pop star and the fact that I couldn't hold a note or keep in tune to save my life was merely a minor speck on my otherwise clean road to stardom.. If I wasn't singing into my hairbrush I would be making up stories, scribbling about teddies and tea parties as soon as I learned how to hold a pen.
Then I got a bit older and decided that actually singing wasn't for me and instead I would throw myself into the world of acting. Red carpets, film sets and the glittering world of stardom was so clearly where I belonged I didn't know why I hadn't seen it before. Despite sticking up posters of actors all over my walls I continued to write, this time with the aid of my mums laptop and even though almost everything was inspired completely (and copied indirectly) from Enid Blyton, a few of my own idea's managed to sneak through and get written as well.
I got a bit older again and although I stuck with the overall acting theme I broadened my aspirations from film sets to include theatre stages, decided to pick drama for an option when I went to sixth form and daydreamed about opening nights for both live and recorded entertainment. During this time I also stopped writing, gave up trying to come up with new ideas and fast forward a couple of years and without a single moment of hesitation I moved my entire stories folder into the rubbish bin on my desktop. A year after that I got a new laptop and those files were left behind completely; a vague memory in my mind but nothing tangible to see or pick pieces from.
Fast forward again and I'm a bit older still, flying through university by the skin of my teeth, spending every other week shaking off not only the self-doubt but also the thoughts that crept in over night, thoughts of I can't do this and I don't want to do this that echoed in my mind. I still wanted to act but everyday leant more towards the creative process rather than being in the spotlight myself; and my word documents and notebooks were still only filled with lecture notes and essays rather than anything enjoyable or creative. But then my hatred of writing essays led to me taking a chance,throwing caution to the wind and opting to pick Playwriting instead of a dissertation for my third year project.
Let's just recap that last bit- hadn't written anything creative in years let alone academically creative and decided "oh whatever, I'll do it" when faced with the chance to not only write creatively but write a play for the first time ever..carpe diem indeed! So even though I didn't enjoy university at all I can't be sorry or regret choosing the course I did because if I had chosen a different university, not only would I not know the people I do now but I wouldn't have had the option to write a play this past year. Now I've started writing again I don't want to stop, being creative and channeling my own ideas into an actual piece of writing has quickly become a favourite way to spend my time.
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| happy, overwhelmed, excited & emotional - ten minutes before submitting. |
I'm also using pinterest on & off to create boards, some more personal to me but a lot are character based and if you're interested to see which pins I'm shaping into ideas then you can find that here.
love el
xo
hello!
I just wanted to spill out some feelings and thoughts about the LGBT fans deserve better movement.
(Image from http://lgbtfansdeservebetter.com/ and used with permission)
When Dana died I was heartbroken, she was one of my favourite characters and her storyline could have gone on to be so good and helpful for hundreds of girls. However once I wiped away my tears I was fine, I still had about seven other women, gay women, to watch and love.
When Lexa died I was heartbroken and angry, she was one of my favourite characters and her storyline could have gone on to be so good and helpful for hundreds of girls. However when I wiped away my tears I was still angry, I no longer had any one I could look to, to watch and love. No one that represented me as a lesbian, as a girl who just happens to love other girls.
Watching Friends Carol & Susan gave little gay me hope, hope that I could one day figure out what I was feeling, that I could one day fall in love with a girl, that I could be happy and in love and loved. But since Friends? I've only had a handful of onscreen wlw; even fewer in relationships and even fewer still who are alive at the end of the shows run.
Since Lexa's death I've lost count of the number of women-loving-women (wlw) who have died or been killed (one of which was thanks to the creator of the L word, Ilene Chaiken), and yes many of them have been from under the same TV company- but the company itself is completely irrelevant.
This movement is starting to really become something; media outlets are taking notice, companies and taking notice and potential future writers and showrunners are taking notice. If we stop now we go right back to invisibility and/or death; and if we start arguing amongst ourselves about what to trend then this movement will fizzle out, people will stop taking us seriously and we go right back to invisibility and/or death.
It doesn't matter what we trend, it only matters that we do trend, that we stay together and we stay united. Our moment is now; let's make it count.
It's not about one character or one company. It's about us. It's about us standing up for ourselves and standing up for those who can't. It's about us standing up and standing together. It's about us fighting back and showing that they can't just throw us a bone every now and then and think it counts. It's about us hurting every time they kill off the only person we relate to because they got bored, or couldn't be bothered to work out a schedule. It's about us deserving better and it's about us getting what we need.
It's about us.
USEFUL LINKS
~If you want to find out more about the movement I recommend these two sites:
LGBT Fans Deserve Better
We Deserved Better
~To donate to the Trevor Project Leskru fund:
https://www.classy.org/fundraise?fcid=625415
~ Learn more about why the Trevor Project is so important:
http://www.thetrevorproject.org/
~My previous post on why minorities deserve better:
http://isthateloise.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/minorities-deserve-better.html
MINORITIES DESERVE BETTER..why I hear you ask; well this is why: (although if you are genuinely asking why then you need to take a long hard look at the world around you and open your eyes a little bit)
~Minorities deserve better because out of hundreds of tv shows and hundreds of characters the only ones who keep repeatedly getting killed are the lgbtqia characters and the characters of colour and we have had enough!
~minorities deserve better because we are people who have lives and dreams and hopes and ambitions
~because I am more than a plot device to gain views and statistics
~because although it is just a show to you, to us it is the only time we see ourselves portrayed and represented
~because my friends have never had to watch their onscreen representation get killed over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
~because there are fourteen years between Tara's death on Buffy and Lexa's death on the 100 and people are asking why we are angry instead of shocked.
~because we are people
~because most people don't have to look for hidden messages or meanings or subtext in their onscreen representation; most people don't have to take everything they see with a pinch of salt and a hint of queerbait.
~because this has been happening FOR YEARS.
~because this is what we meant by 'the fight doesn't end with equal marriage' when you asked why we weren't satisfied.
~because a happy ending shouldn't be solely reserved for the straight white couples on the show
~because we are people
~because it isn't just one show and it isn't just one character; it's most of the shows and the majority of the characters.
~because if I have to die then at least let me die with honour and some originality.
~because even in the stories where my sexuality is the main plot point the two characters will often end up apart, dying, dead or going back to their husbands.
~because I can count the number of onscreen lesbians who are alive, happy and in a female relationship by the end of the show/film on two hands. two. hands. less than ten female same-sex relationships that last the duration of a show and last happily
~because we are people
~because shows and films are meant to be entertaining and a form of escape but I don't feel very entertained when my representation ends up dying..again.
~because. because. because. because. BECAUSE. BECAUSE. BECAUSE. BECAUSE.
do we really need a because? do we really need a reason? do we really need to feel so completely let down and unsurprised everytime we turn on our tv. do we really need another generation to grow up thinking they will never fit in and they will never be happy and they will never find love because that's all they ever see?
"Minorities Are Not Disposable" is currently trending on twitter and I ask that you at least take a look at the tweets even if you don't post one of your own; because although yes- this was sparked off by the death of a fictional character; the truth of the matter cuts much deeper than TV and runs for much longer than a season. This uproar, this outrage has been building and building and we could now have the power and the possibility to make a start; make a change; make ourselves heard and refuse to let this terrible treatment of our represented selves go on. It started with fiction but it shall end with reality; and if we make enough noise, make enough mess and refuse to be contained in the trope boxes in which we have been placed then it shall end with a positive reality.
-we are not disposable . we deserve better -
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