we march because

Friday, 30 June 2017

We march because in 1969 Sylvia Rivera threw the first brick and yet fifty years later bathrooms are still being patrolled and controlled,

because you treat my fellow sisters like we're both your worst nightmare and your greatest fantasy rolled into one even though we are not here for your pleasure,

and because America's worst mass shooting in history took place in our month against our people and they ask why marriage isn't enough?

the invisible femme

Saturday, 10 June 2017

The invisible femme: a feminine looking lesbian who struggles to convince or show that she is gay.

 The invisible femme: a lesbian who recieves yet another label because she doesn't conform to society's stereotypical definition of what a lesbian looks like.  You know; short hair, short nails and a wardrobe full of checked shirts and and heavy-duty "man boots." 

The invisible femme: the girl writing this blog post.

"You're too pretty to be gay" or "I never would have guessed" are both comments I've recieved a few more times than I'd prefer and I'm still baffled as to how the first one is supposed to be complimentary in the slightest.  As for the second one I always feel a surge of annoyance which is quickly followed by frustration because I know that the stereotypes I mentioned before are to blame for people not guessing.  My long hair and painted nails are as much a part of me as my blue eyes and my sexuality are and yet the first two somehow erase or coverup the fourth despite the fact that it's the latter two which aren't changeable? 

As an invisible femme I am both privileged and disadvantaged.  I "pass" as a straight woman so therefore do not recieve even half as much abuse and homophobia as my sisters who fit the stereotype, but on the other hand the number of homophobic comments that have been made in my hearing about those sisters because I am not counted as one of them is heartbreakingly high.  I don't fit the stereotype so therefore I'm clearly a straight women who would find a "haha gayyyyyyyyy" comment amusing..  By not fitting the stereotype I pass under the radar, I avoid the weird looks and whispered comments that so many people I know have had to deal with but at the same time I often wonder if I also pass under the radar of people I belong with.

Stereotypes are so prevalent both outside and inside my community that often I am an invisible femme not only to boys in the club but also to members of my own group.  How many potential flirtations or coffee dates have I missed out on because I chose to wear a dress that day.  When I went to a queer craft fayre did I look like an outsider to my own people?  Is my love of checked shirts just seen as a quirky "me thing" or as the tongue-in-cheek acceptance and love of one of the many stereotypes held under the umbrella of lesbian it actually is?