21 things i learned before i turned 21


It's my 21st birthday today and one of my favourite types of posts to read are the "so many things I learned before this age" type posts and I thought, hey why not combine the two and jump onto the bandwagon of "typical birthday posts" because I wasn't really sure what else to write!  So here are 21 things that I have learnt and/or realised before I turned 21:

1) No one else knows what they are doing either. 

2) The "it doesn't matter what you eat as long as you're eating" argument doesn't extend to day four of living entirely off of cereal and pasta.  Eat something green, eat something that you have to chop up first and more importantly eat something with other people at least once a week.

3) Coming out can be scary, terrifying and wonderful and at times it does seem to be a never ending process but once you've done it you're free to make as many quotes, quips and (lame) puns as you like!

4) Trust your gut isn't just a cliche saying; there is some truth and lots of sensibility in listening to your own feelings and responding accordingly.

5)  Contrary to popular opinion eyebrows don't actually matter.  No one notices the fact that one is blonde and one is not until they are two inches from your face, four years after meeting you.  Take care of them but they are not the be all and end all.

6)  Self care comes in many forms.  Find the ones that work for you and do them often.

7)  Educating yourself is one of the most worthwhile things you can do.  Google something and read articles, download a dictionary app, read something non-fiction. Find out about current events and activist movements.  It will help make sense of things as well as being useful and interesting.

8)  Saying that there's no shame in spending an entire afternoon watching Friends episodes and using your phone to put ridiculous filters on Monica's face (thankyou snapchat).  It's fun and having fun is important.

9)  Jam on toast and a cup of tea might not actually solve any problems but it does make dealing with them a little easier.

10) Listen to Elle Woods.

11)  Some people don't stay and you don't know why.  Overthinking and re-reading all the messages won't turn you into a mystery solving female version of Sherlock, it will just make you sad and untrustworthy of other people so be kind to yourself and focus on the people who are still there for you.

12)  It's fine to escape into a book and lose yourself in fictional worlds every now and then but make sure you're still present in -and aware of- the world around you as well.

13)  Take a chance.  Take a deep breath and say whats on your mind, let people in and trust them.  99% of the time it's absolutely fine and the 1% it's not allows you to find people who you maybe don't want in your life..

14)  Hobbies are supposed to fun; by all means work on them and improve over time but don't stress over your photographs not turning out how you planned or that poem being a disaster.

15) Forgive people. For yourself and your own well-being if anything, write a letter and burn it- call it closure and open your heart again.

16)  Newsflash: if you procrastinate something it takes 100 times longer to get it submitted that it would if you just sit down, get off twitter and start the thing right away.

17)  Sometimes an evening out; dinner with friends that ends with hundreds of photos being shared on the group chat is the best fun you could have, but sometimes sitting in your pyjamas in the kitchen with your friends, talking rubbish with your make up off and laughing like a bunch of hyenas with not a single photo taken the whole time is the best fun you could have too.  Both are special and both will provide memories.

18)  You don't have to listen to, like, or take on board every comment or piece of advice that people give you. Unless it's Joey, always listen to Joey.

19) Sometimes the healthiest option is to have a shower, put on your comfiest pyjamas and curl up in bed at half past eight on a Friday night, that's okay.  

20) Check in with people often.  Ring someone you haven't spoken to in a couple of weeks, spend hours catching up over coffee or via text.  Don't let friendships fade away without you noticing because when you do it hurts like hell.  (But it's never too late to try and start up a conversation again; you never know what might happen!)

21)  Everything is a process, everything takes time.  Breathe in, breathe out and take each step and each day as it comes.  It's a process and a journey not a destination.

love el

twitter: isthateloise  /  instagram: eloisemae  /  bloglovin: eloisemae


  1. HAPPY birthday !!! 🎉🎉. These are all such great tips, I hope I at least sound as wise as you seem by 21! Have a great day, Kate
    Xxx www.lifeinkateish.wordpress.com

  2. Happy Bday! 💓 Lovely post - very insightful. Self care does come in many forms, and it is perfectly okay to stay in with pajamas on a Friday night. 😝

  3. I absolutely adored this! I am turning 21 in September and I totally agree with all these points!! Especially Elle Woods and Friends! Off I go now to put different filters on Monica's face! Love this and your blog 💕

    Love Chloe-Rose

  4. This is a really great post.
    Side note: How great is Friends?! And Elle Woods for that matter!

    Louisa | www.loubeeloublogs.blogspot.co.uk

  5. You have some great tips here. I love that you included the importance of self care <3

    Britt | http://alternativelyspeaking.ca/

  6. Love this post idea! 100% agree with "Listen to Elle Woods" Such good advice :)